szombat, december 10, 2005

Budapest Love Song III

"'For the first time I recognized the truth of beauty: that it is brokenness, it is on its knees... I could sit, merely breathing, and be part of it. I was beautiful - at last. And I didn't care - at last. I stumbled through the ancient streets, stopped in the smoke-grimed coffehouses and added my signature of ash, anonymous, and yet entirely satisfied... I was, simply, in the most beautiful place I have ever seen, and it was grimy and sad and broken...' (Patricia Hampl: A Romantic Education)

The city Hampl - in her beautiful, lyrical memoir - is speaking of is Prague. But, for me, it is Budapest (...)"

Pra mim também, Michael Blumenthal, pra mim também...

9 Comments:

At szombat, december 10, 2005 11:55:00 de., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Dear Anna and all of Brazil,

I cannot leave this without comment any more. God, all these feelings and nostalgies and yearnings - are actually getting stronger and stronger, as Anna is preparing to go back to My Wonderland.

Two years ago I knew hardly anything about this beautiful land, which welcomed me with extreme kindness and warmth and a peculiar feeling of familiarity on January 18, 2004, when I first stepped on its soil in Sao Paulo. I knew nothing about the country, the language, its people, still, I immediately felt I was at home.

I spent just one day in Brazil when I flew over to Uruguay and then to Argentina for a total of three weeks, but all through this time I was sure that Brazil would be my favorite of the three. However, what I did not know then was that Brazil would change all my life, turn everything upside down, and all this never-felt chaos and novelty would make me feel extremely happy.

I returned to Brazil, this time to Rio, on February 4, 2004. I returned there to meet the father of my baby in that 'cidade maravilhosa', just 2 hours after landing. Who could have known all that in advance? I did not. But Fate definitely had it in there for me.

Rio, Brazil and Eustaquio made me feel free, liberated, sunshiny, happy, feminine, passionate and MY BEST EVER SELF. Who was I before, and who did I become after spending just one week with an eccentric, funny, extreme and very difficult 'brasileiro'?! Just that one week brought me a new self-confidence, a new way to look at myself and my life, and although the union of a European intellectual girl and a poor Brasilian worker guy could not be called a guarantee for life-long happiness, I still felt so at ease in this "life-out-of-my-own-life" that it was just the most natural thing in the world to conceive a baby there and then, with him.

Petra changed my life into constant radiance and balance and harmony. Before Petra and Eustaquio and Brazil, I was a girl constantly ridden with self-doubts, serious and long periods of depression, constant failures with men and relationships, although, true, very successful in her job and studies, having the money to travel and enjoy life as best she could.

In Brazil I was the girl with the henna tatoo on her neck, I was the girl who mixed with all kinds of people, who she would never have met in Europe, I was free of all the negative aspects of my life in Europe. Everything felt natural and easy and harmonious.

Brazil gave me a feeling of being in absolute harmony with myself, with the world, with Nature, with life. I knew exactly what I wanted from life there and then - and it was this baby. God, I never really planned to have a baby. Brazil made me instinctive, spontaneous, it changed my whole life and this positive feeling has not left me for a moment since then.

I love the sound of Brazilian Portuguese. I hope to be able to speak it myself one day. I love samba. I love the natural inclination and talent to dance in my own daughter's character. I love this joyful spirit of life, I love the deep, troubled sounds of Rio, I love the scorching heat on its beaches, the old colonial buildings in the city, I love the mischievous smile on the guys' faces - and on my own daughter's, who is such a real, genuine 'brasileira' - already at the age of one! :)

My boldest dream is to live there some day. To show Petra where, and why exactly there, she was conceived. Without Brazil, she would never have existed, without Brazil, I would never have been reborn.

God bless every bit of this land's soil, and every single brasileiro and brasileira. I love you with all my heart, and I hope to see you again, Brazil. Have a happy Christmas!

Györgyi

 
At szombat, december 10, 2005 1:52:00 du., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Interessante... A psicanálise fala da tendência à paixão pelo diferente de nós. Paixão; amor, não. Tomara que seja assim, senão minha amada, idolatrada, salve, salve!, sobrinha poeta não volta mais para o Brasil.

 
At szombat, december 10, 2005 1:54:00 du., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Anna: would you, please, translate that to Györgyi?

 
At vasárnap, december 11, 2005 5:08:00 de., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Thank you for all these sweeted words, Györgyi, and I hope the sun shined for all of your lives!

 
At hétfő, december 12, 2005 12:39:00 de., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Família, voces podem conversar com a Györgyi em portugues... ;-)

 
At péntek, június 30, 2006 6:46:00 du., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Nice idea with this site its better than most of the rubbish I come across.
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At kedd, július 18, 2006 1:07:00 de., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Hmm I love the idea behind this website, very unique.
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At szerda, július 19, 2006 6:57:00 du., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.
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At csütörtök, október 05, 2006 8:31:00 de., Anonymous Névtelen said...

Excellent, love it!
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